Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Foreign Schmoreign


Hello Dear Readers -

This is mostly a review of two movies, not necessarily a critique of A.O. Scott's article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/30/movies/awardsseason/30scott.html?_r=1&hpw. Primarily because, like one of the movies I saw "Biutiful" I was too bored to get through it.

So "Biutiful" was bioring. I like Innaritu and loved "Amores Perros" and "21 Grams". "Babel" I could have done without. This movie is getting buzz for Javier Bardem. Okay so he lost weight. So have I, where's my showing at Cannes? The movie centers around Bardem and his ability - which is never really fleshed out - to talk to dead people, which FYI Whoopi did much better in "Ghost": "Molly, you in danger girl!". And then there's the real plot which is about him being a go-between for fake Luis Vuittons. He works for some Chinese people and employs Africans. Their plight is hard (no shit). Chinese people in sweat shops, Africans in jails and being harassed by police. This felt like the Mexican version of "Crash". I get it. But please don't talk down to me from on high. I've seen the adds. I know counterfeiting my Gucci thongs is just as bad as an act of terrorism. Or driving an SUV. Or illegally downloading the entire series of "Clarissa Explains it All."

Ultimately this movie was a terrible bore. Oh, and Javier Bardem is dying from cancer so he pees himself a lot (so does his young son!) and has an ex-wife with some questionable morals. And a brother with some questionable morals. And he has some questionable morals but it's okay because in the end he puts up an African lady and her baby and gives her a lot of money he has saved from the corrupt Chinese sweat shop boss. His performance was fine but I don't see what's award worthy in it. And the movie itself is a preachy, dull, too-long mess. Skip it.

This was all on Sunday by the way. And when I came home I watched "Animal Kingdom" with Jackie Weaver, a Best Supporting Actress nominee. This movie was better. It's about a family of dumb criminals in Australia who take on a young member left behind by his dead mother. Again, it's fine as a movie. But not great. These three men take part in a lot of stupid bullshit and get caught. Surprise! Okay, I'm skipping right to Jackie Weaver and her nomination. A: she's on screen for about 7 or 8 minutes. B: when she's on screen she's simply doing her best impression of Grandma Betty pissed because she didn't win at Bingo. Um... if this warrants awards, again, where's mine?

My point is - And I do have one - Ellen Degeneres, that A.O. Scott's article is stupid. There is no Golden Age of Foreign Films happenings. Yes "Carlos" was great and epic. Because it was good and long but foreign films, like American films, Hollywood films, my home movies are hit or miss, flawed, etc. Also, what even makes a foreign film these days? Is "The King's Speech" foreign because it's from England? And what about "Carlos"? Where is that movie from A.O.?

Don't believe the hype! Buy American and go see "Green Hornet 3D" starring a Chinese pop star and directed by a French man. Hmmph.

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