Friday, February 4, 2011
Le Colonic, Part Une
Dear Readers - I may never be the seen. And let me tell you I've had lots of things up there, from bed knobs and broomsticks to that lip balm you last last winter to who knows which one of your boyfriends. But this was something else entirely! Whoa. First of all, no one told me where I was supposed to "deposit". I was under the impression that it all came out in the tube that I had to insert myself. My lady laid out a glove, lube and the tube and said "put a little lube in the rectum..." I said "Stop right there! Been here, done that." After inserted and placed on the Colenz I was told I had inserted in "perfectly". I mean, I could teach insertion. So then she massaged my stomach, told me to hold the water in for 25 seconds ("squeeze your butt cheeks") and the release. Well, the floodgates were opened. I couldn't tell if I was shitting on myself, the table, the floor or what. I was very nervous. My lady came in and she asked if I had expelled. Um. Yes. Sorry? She told me to wash, rinse and repeat. So for the next 45 minutes I pooped and pooped and pooped and pooped. And then I pooped some more. Following will be a photo and video montage. Buyer beware. All are graphic; parental supervision is advised.