Friday, April 15, 2011
As If My Childhood Wasn't Hard Enough
Now you have to go and cancel my soaps?
I'm sorry, but what the shit is Grandma Betty supposed to do between the hours of 1 to 3 now? WHAT WILL SHE WATCH WHILE FALLING ASLEEP SMOKING IN HER BARCA LOUNGER ASKING - IN HER BEST HARVEY FIERSTEIN - HENRY CAN YOU GET ME SOME BRANDY?
I mean, seriously. I remember on One Life to Live when Vicki was Nicki and Nicki was Vicki and Tina had to leave the show because she had a stalker in real life and then she came back many years later and time was not kind to her. Oh. And then they lived in some city of gold or some shit. But it was good.
And what about La Lucci. All My Children? All She Has. Has anyone thought about her? Maybe she'll replace Reege? I guess she can always go to Lifetime Television for Women and play someone's psychotic 3rd wife? Or host a reality show on OWN?
This is too depressing for me to even handle this early on a Friday. I don't want to be the one to break this to Grandma Betty. It could kill her. I'm going to send her a letter and hopefully the post office will lose it.
ABC sucks. I blame Michael Eisner and Barbara Walters. I think they both killed Peter Jennings.