Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Just Go With It!

Direct TV is starting a new deal with Hollywood and it has theater owners shaking in their polyester burgundy polos and James Cameron is PISSED.

Apparently Direct TV is allowing viewers, starting today, to stream the Adam Sandler/Jen Aniston opus "Just Go With It" directly to their TV after only 60 days in the theater. For $30 the viewer(s) gets unlimited access to the movie for 48 hours.

Now Dear Readers - are you still here or are you all subscribing to Direct TV to get this masterwork? - I saw "Just Go With It" because I had seen everything else and I'm a huge Brooklyn Decker fan and let me tell you - I hope to G-d there's a sequel. Because Aniston needs a pay check to keep her in Merit Ultra Lights and Brooklyn Decker needs a job. Also, Nicole Kidman was in it ?!?! and was so proud of it that she had her name removed from all promotional materials and did no press for it.

This was also a remake of "Cactus Flower" - a charmer of a movie which won Oldie Hawn her only Academy Award (R) for Best Supporting Actress. It co-starred Walter Matthau and Ingrid Bergman.

Anyway, James Cameron is angry about all of this so Direct TV better watch their shit because he will sick some big blue thing with a long tail and have them shove it up Direct TV's ass. Also, the guy who made The Hangover is upset too, saying if he wanted to be a TV director then he would have gone to community college instead of dropping out of Penn State Hazleton. Oooh... You know, becasue The Hangover and all the Will Ferrel shit he directed doesn't play better on the TV anyway. I mean, don't miss The Hangover 2: Hungover in the theater because the fart jokes and tits splashed across the screen play much better 40 feet high.

Okay, full disclosure, I own The Hangover and love it and one time made my two friends (who both share the same name and date but shall remain nameless hint: they're gay!) watch it with me after getting stoned and when asked if "any prostitutes end up in trunks and it's a gag" I told them of course not but failed to mention the whore with the heart of gold and the naked Asian man in the trunk.

Needless to say I left that party early. We've since made up and have plans to take a bath together soon.

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