Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Move On Moby!

I mean… I haven’t even watched this video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/12/moby-video-moveon-deficit_n_848237.html because A: Moby who? And B: oy. Come on. I remember when I bought my first – and only – Moby 8-track and he wrote this essay about all of this shit: don’t do this, do this, eat vegan, Alicia Silverstone, Teany (don’t even get me started!), soy cheese and the dangers of disposable lighters and I was all yes! I’m with you Moby! I’m 14 too and even though my vegan Doc Martens are cutting through my polyester socks – I would never wear wool… too cruel! I’m still going to fight the good fight with you Moby and I’ll pay $40 to see you DJ on your solar-powered turntables and… what’s that? You love Natalie Merchant too? Oh happy day! I just came in my pants but don’t worry Moby I’ll clean it up with 100% post-consumer recycled unbleached hemp tissue. And of course I’ll recycle it! Moby… who do you think I am? Eminem? Hahahahahhah. I love you too Moby. Soy forever. And then he went and did this: http://www.malaysiaminilover.com/moby-car-commercial-song I mean. I know it’s only a car commercial for a German automobile and they’ve never done anything really that bad – come on! they’re Germans! – but I was still upset so I drove over my Moby cd with my bicycle many many many times. Anyway, I think Move On should move on and try and get the kids attention with something a bit more relevant… like Bush or something. Gavin Rossdale can get a nanny for a day I’m sure.

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