Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Listen Dear Readers - I'm about as excited for the new season of Dancing With the Stars as I am to move in with you after I lose my shirt and am waiting on the bread lines because of my latest venture: see post, previous, but this shit is ceee-razy.

Um. First of all Chaz, shut up. You're not a star, you're not a dancer. You're an activist with an agenda so great! but don't try and fool me. Or rather, don't make me act a fool. Okay. I support you dancing, singing, what the fuck ever but let's be honest: you need a paycheck and you feel great as a man after being trapped as woman for all of those years. Say it loud and proud. Don't dumb it down because 99% of the audience of this show is borderline retarded - yes I'm talking to you Sherry Shepherd:

Oh man. "I'm worried 'bout how I'm gonna feed my son." This is why I always wanted to be famous. You can not know a thing and still get a paycheck - hmmmm... this feels like a theme...

Anyway, back to DWTS. So this American Family Association (read: Michelle Bachman and her brood of foster children) objects to Chaz. FUCK YOU. Did you object to accused and admitted beater Chris Brown when he danced his tired ass across that sound studio? What about when Kirstie Alley - an admitted cocaine (former) addict - shook her pork belly up your face? What about when Kim Kardashian - she of the Ray J my dick looks like an umbrella handle - porn - shook her two ham hocks?

I mean, judge not lest ye be judged mother fuckers because I know you're all sticking a carrot up your husbands' asses every third month when you dust the cobwebs off of your vaginas to 'procreate' because that's the only thing that excites him - other than that watching old episodes of Alias when Jen Garner was bouncing around playing spy.

1 comment:

  1. "I never thought about it. is the earth round? I never thought about it." really?!?!
    you me and the view (and a gin n tonic?)
    oh interlopere, you complete me.