Friday, October 28, 2011

Try Harder

Now here is where, Dear Readers, The Interlopere gets very confused. I don't know if Ruth is to blame. What I do know is her mango dermabrasion from the QVC joan Rivers collection has never worked better!

Also, if I had as much money as they did (do?) I would pay someone to get rid of that horrible Long Island accent - apologies to all of my readers on the Penis-ula! Okay, okay, I know it's an island (is it? do I?) but I couldn't make a penis joke with "Island". Unless I said "One Eye-land trouser snake"! Ha!

Anyway, Ruth is nasty. But I feel bad because she can't get her hair done and she's living in seclusion in *GASP* Florida! Isn't that punishment enough Dear Readers?

But seriously, this Mama Bear (read: Cougar) is just doing this because her son is publishing a memoir (Mem-WA) on the whole debacle. Grandma needs some money.

And really, I think that the two of you, together, could have figured out how much Ambien to take to never wake up. And the idea that you mailed sentimental items to friends because you thought you would be dead? How about you thought you were losing all of your money but still needed baubles to finger as you cried yourself to sleep every night because you knew your hairdresser was quitting you.

Don't Piss On My Leg And Tell Me It's Raining - Judge Judy Sheindlin

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