Sunday, November 6, 2011

And If by 'Risks' You Mean Big Paychecks...


http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/06/movies/leonardo-dicaprio-in-clint-eastwoods-j-edgar.html?hpw

Let me tell you about risks. It's called Aunt Shannon bringing her 'friend' home to Grandma Betty for the first time:

Aunt Shannon: Mom, this is Jody... my girlfriend.

Grandma Betty: She looks like Paul McCartney.

Risks is devoutly Catholic Grandma Louise yelling at my uncle's estranged girlfriend:

Estranged Girlfriend: Louise, your son got me pregnant.

Grandma Louise: Well then have an abortion!

Leonardo DiCraprio making a movie where he has to kiss Arm & Hammer on the lips while wearing a frock from the Dress Barn Outlet because he gained some weight eating too many cupcakes all the while making many millions of dollars and is a guarantee for an Oscar nomination... not risky.

Risky is Salma Hayek whipping out her titties in sub-Saharan Africa to feed the children. And making Puss 'n' Boots 3D. Girlfriend - you are set for life. Don't make shitty movies.

Risk is me writing this scathing blog post... I'll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again!

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