Sunday, November 13, 2011

Enough Already

Sweet Jesus, cut the shit Oprah! It is no longer crazy, insane, whatever that you are living your best life while queefing your A-Ha! moments in front of a national audience while getting your honorary Oscar, Kennedy Center Honor, Lifetime Achievement or Employee of the Month at OWN - now that Gayle is abandoning you.

I mean, A: Why the fuck does Oprah get an honorary Oscar? She's been in two movies - and no I am not counting her voice over work in that Black Disney Princess shit!

B: Quit it with the crocodile tears. I mean, really. Leave that to me when I accept my honorary Oscar (read: gagging on a big penis while looking in the mirror).

C: No one is amazed by your accomplishments anymore. Yes we know you was a po' colo'd guhl from Mississippi but now you're like James Cameron and shit. It's no longer that interesting. Okay, yes my mom still subscribes to your magazine but she doesn't read it.

Ugh. Crystal Bridges calls bullshit!

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