Wednesday, November 30, 2011

It Has Begun


As you all know, Dear Readers, Gorgeous landed in exotic Miami, Florida last night at approximately 8:51 PM. And then she hiked up her skirt, hailed a cab and said "get me to the bar goddamnit!" and at the bar is where we stayed. And stayed. And stayed. Gorgeous got the inside scoop on so much, including: Madonna, B-Roid (Madge's onetime boyfriend, a famous ball player) and much much more.
So for our first big scoop we will be going to Mr. B. Roid's house tonight where rumor has it he keeps his Scope in Patron bottles.
**Please note, we have been advised by our legal counsel (David) to change the name of this famous ball player**
Gorgeous had fantasies last night of dancing with Ms. Naomi Campbell - who is rumored to be the surprise guest at tonight's B. Roid's party - but in reality we'll take a drink being thrown at us.
Don't worry, now that Gorgeous got her new Siri Cruise phone she'll be documenting the entire thing. We'll see Mr. B-Roid air kissing China Chow as art stars from across the globe roll their eyes.
It's outrageous and only getting more Gorgeous with me down here.
Now for today I just have to decide which bikini to wear.

But stay tuned. Because I'll be reporting on all of these spoiled white bitches for the next week. *Note I said white because Naomi Campbell is a god and sweet Jesus I will suck the cock of B-Roid's dog if it means I get close to Ms. Naomi Campbell.

PS. I did meet a cute hipster at the Walgreen's last night and shared an electronic cigarette with him. True story!

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