Friday, January 27, 2012

Demi's 911 Tape

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Okay, let me say this first of all. These 911 workers are borderline retarded. Now, the first guy can't seem to figure out that the address is Beverly Hills. Even though they've said it 100 times in the first 30 seconds. "You've got LA County." No bitch! You've got LA County. You call 911 and you get 911. It's not like you dial an area code first. Then he transfers these poor scared ladies (is one a maid or something and not because she sounds Latina racists!) and then she gets transferred to Beverly Hills and then is asked to spell it D-E-M-I-M-O-O-R-E. Bitch is famous mother fuckers!

Okay. "She smoked something. It's not marijuana. Similar to incense." Um, you can't smoke incense, believe me I've tried.

"How old is she?" Probably the hardest thing to discern in this whole call.

"Don't put anything in her mouth"

"She smoked something intentionally but the reaction is accidental"

These people are all ridiculous. Poor Demi is flapping around and these people can't even get a servant to go down and open the gate. Go Andrea go! Jesus.

"Is that a dirt road?" Does this guy not live in LA and know the star of Ghost, St. Elmo's Fire, Striptease and A Few Good Men?

A dirt road? Demi Moore does not live on a dirt road!

This is sort of humiliating and secretly my worst fear that the same will happen to Crystal and I'll be taken to Coney Island Hospital in an ambulette.

"Has she done this before?" Um. Yes.

"Who is she?" She's Demi mother fucking Moore.

Now who's this guy around minute 7? Her dealer? Are they all high on this incense-like substance?

Do these people in LA not have GPS? It's not like she lives in the Valley for Christ's sake.

Well, it seems like Demi had a bad reaction to some drugs. Shocking. She's too old to be doing drugs. This is why I have to dump out my RUSH every time I make David buy it.

They still haven't sent someone down to the gate? I mean, come on.

Finally after 10 + minutes they get there.

Save Demi!

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