Friday, January 27, 2012

Newt's Nuts, Mitt's Rich, Rick's a Dick and I think Ron Paul Might Be Dead

Now Crystal hasn't sullied herself getting too heavily involved in this Republican debate since Herman McCain - the father of All My Children - was forced out by the evil Lefty media who would not leave his little indiscretions alone! But this clip is great.

Newt's got balls the size of his weird child head. It ain't like he's poor because after 1 million it's all rich to Crystal. Or Cristal. And I'm quite sure the Bushes had some money stored in foreign bank accounts for all of their kabillions of dollars. What kind of historian are you?

And then Santorum as some sort of moral field goal. Please. This guy can't make a decision without holding himself while crying and then having to race to his church to get advice from his pastor. Not someone I want leading my country. Not to mention he's going to tell me that I can't abort my rape fetus. Don't get me started on that asshole. Oh and they'll all - okay not Ron Paul but again is he even alive or is he Ross Perot? - make the queers go so far back into the closet that we'll have to be meeting in back alleys with the abortionists just to get a decent hand job. (Secretly I think neither Newt nor Mitt care). Also we cannot have a president named NEWT or MITT. Are those short for something? Newton? Mitchell? Horrible names.

Newt is just nasty too. He made some comment about gays signaling the rise of paganism. Bitch, I'll tell you what is signaling the rise of paganism - Grandma Betty talking to me about showering with other ladies.

And Calista. I didn't think I would ever say this but there's someone more pinched than Laura Bush?!

And let's talk about Mitt's Millions. Now, I can just say, quite frankly, I'm jealous. And he's right. He earned it. Isn't that the American Way? I'm confused. And it's not like Santorum go Borem or Newt the Nasthole are poor people. If anyone should be offended it should be Grandma Betty because she is going to have to take $2000 of her bingo winnings just to get cremated!

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