Wednesday, January 25, 2012

State of the Union

Okay. I tried to watch it before I got too drunk. I cried when they showed that Gabby Giffords because that bitch is star. She takes a fucking bullet to the head and there she is (sort of) clapping and standing up for Obama. She's amazing and I'm sad she's retiring but get well soon sista!

The rest was so corny and horrible and Obama wants to make it illegal to drop out of school before the age of 18? (This is my takeaway, sad, I know) but really Heir Commandant?! Come on!

And then to prove his point they had that lady with the bad hair sitting next to Michelle Obama and she was being applauded for taking a community college class? I mean, Crystal has gone to DeVry bitches. Why isn't she sitting next to Mrs. Obama. Or better yet, why isn't she giving the goddamned speech? I know, I know, voting, you have to be 35, etc. But still. I could just deliver the speech and then go out to some fun Capital Hill bar with John Boehner. Who by the way is darker than Obama. Not that it matters to me because Crystal does not see color. Unless it's in her stool which has been unusually green lately. Anyhoo..

And then that Republican 'rebuttal'? Where the fuck did that guy come from? He was like a leftover cast member from The Addams Family on Broadway starring Ms. Brooke Shields. He played one of the corpses that Morticia fucks.

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